#6: My mother
Unlike my Old Man, Mom isn’t a bad person…just a person bad things have happened to.
March 2008
The Shampoo massage
Those women on the Herbal Essences commercials AREN’T bullshitting, guys.
#5: My father
I’d write a better excerpt about my Old Man, but I don’t even think he’s even worth that effort.
#4: Family life
If family life is supposed to be an education of how to love someone, then my family flunked the class.
Conservative dress…provacative thoughts
The woman sitting near me is intoxicating and my thoughts are in a whirlwind…but there are times to fantasize and times when NOT to.
Two like ends
My quiet coworker is a chick magnet like me. Only he is the opposite end that attracts, and I’m the like end that repels.
Diagnosis, Dr. Google
My recent headaches/migraines is diagnosed completely unprofessionally.
Well, the Smurfs always *did* look happy…
I know they were pushing for more educational cartoons back in the 80s…but I doubt the Smurfs ever considered sex ed.
#1: Taking a trip back
The reason for my situation and how I turned out lies directly in one or more of my past memories. Now it’s time to face them all again.
Maybe women aren’t lying about the headache?
We laugh at wives and girlfriends who feign headaches to get out of sex, but when the real thing happens to you, you start to think that maybe they aren’t always putting it on.
What I want of my first time
The first time is going to be when I finally meet the woman who I’m destined to be with forever, right? Wrong…leave those fantasies for Hollywood. This bachelor wants more out of his sex life.
Male insecurity
Did you ever notice how desperate men are to prove they’re heterosexual? That…or are they hiding something?
Friends with benefits
Do you know someone bragging about having a “friend with benefits?” Yeah…and I saw a leprechaun last week.
Escorts
The obvious answer to my problem…why don’t I pay a professional to help me out? I’m not going that route…and here’s why.
Second puberty
Lately my body has been out of control like a teen in heat. Wasn’t this supposed to stop after high school?