#31: High School transformation
New change in environment along with a new attitude…only I didn’t realize how it would lead to my downfall.
As I said in the Junior High entry, people make the transition into High School out like it’s a big thing. I guess that’s true if it jumps from elementary, but if you already went through a Junior High then it’s not such a big deal. High School felt more like an extension of Junior High, if anything.
There was a positive right out of the gate. Throughout seventh and eighth grade, my old friends since childhood had forgotten all about me and never called anymore as they found new friends to hang out with. Thus I was alone for quite a while. But my ninth grade history class was where I rekindled my earlier friendship with The Friend, and that remains today. Over time, I met even more friends through The Friend and I was in a clique/posse to call my own.
I had become much more overweight, however. So I didn’t have looks on my side as well as confidence…I was frequently teased. But something worse was happening to me as the High School years passed. My personality changed a bit, particularly how it was pertaining to women.
I now saw women as “delicate” creatures who deserved to be treated with respect and shouldn’t be insulted with sexual come-ons like the other boys did….after all, they weren’t interested in sex themselves. Sure they were dating the “bad boys” like the jocks, but that was only because they were mistaken. If I showed my sensitive side and learned about “romance,” then they would see I had a lot of offer and would become interested in me. I often listened to soft rock on the radio, especially Delilah. I wrote poetry. I even read new age books like The Celestine Prophecy and Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. I even had The Mirror Has Two Faces soundtrack. You heard that correctly. I even started to despise other men, thinking that I was “progressive/modern/enlightened” (or however you want to put it) and they were simply Neanderthals. In a way, I guess I wasn’t proud to be a guy.
I don’t know why I started acting this way…perhaps the lack of a positive male role model had damaged me. Or maybe the media (which is why I created the Hall of Shame). I can’t explain. What I do know for a fact is despite what women loved to say in advice columns, NONE of that had no effect.
Nik Says:
April 29th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
So, are you opposed to hooking up with girls that you meet through your website? Because I am sure there are plenty of girls who have offered. Am I right? I mean, most girls love the idea of a guy wanting to go down on them just to explore. lol.
I think the wedding will present itself as a great opportunity for you.
The Virgin Says:
April 30th, 2008 at 12:18 am
Nah, definitely haven’t had any offers or anything. For all anyone knows, the writer of this blog could weigh 300 lbs, have a four inch dick and live with his mother. I’ve had my own horror stories with online dating which I’ll get into soon.
Manda Says:
April 30th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Think back to everything you read in Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus. Now, mentally wrap it up in a grubby rag and throw in in the bin. That’s the most deficient and unhealthy book in the world, and I’m not surprised it’s done you no favours!
Anyway, good luck at the wedding. Act natural! Talk to people! Compliment them on something genuine. Be interested in their lives! And have fun…