#27: My first pornographic movie
As crazy as my family was, I really did have the coolest mother in the world.
As I’ve said before, no one really sat me down and talked about sex, even my mother. I guess she took my grandmother’s word that I had already been given the talk, as crappy as it was. Mom had her own way of passing knowledge on without directly talking to me, as was demonstrated by her buying me the Playboy Magazine. When I was 13, she also got me my first porno movie.
One day she brought home an item in a discreet bag and without describing the contents, handed it to me. “Because I don’t want you to grow up stupid,” she said. She mentioned something about keeping it in private, then left and retired to her room. Confused, I took the item out of the bag and I was holding my first pornographic movie.
The title was “Hotline.” The cover of it was of a sexy woman in a small white top and tight shorts climbing a phone line poll. The tagline read “She’ll climb your pole.” The back cover merely had her in a different pose and wasn’t any more revealing about the contents of the tape. Granted I figured it was a movie containing sex scenes, but Mom let me watch rated-R movies all the time like Basic Instinct that had “graphic” sex scenes in it. So how was this any different?
I popped in the movie which started with a cheesy, synthesized soundtrack. The scene opens to two hot women sitting in lawn chairs in a field and they operated a phone sex business where customers could use descrambling boxes to view the woman over the phone lines as they had phone sex. You scoff at this in our modern age of webcams, but this was amazing stuff in 1993. You could even control the camera using the keys on your touchtone telephone.
The women were bored and bitching about how slow business was…even their male cameraman was taking a nap on a blanket in the field. Nina Hartley enters the scene and notices him, wondering if “it’s possible to ride a man without waking him.”
It started out with her quietly giving him a blowjob with her hair concealing the action, which I figured was done that way as they weren’t allowed to show anything. How wrong I was. A moment later, she moved her head up and a shot of her lips wrapped and working around his shaft was very visible. I was stunned…it was so graphic.
After a few minutes of that, she began to mount him using her legs for support in order not to “wake him.” Then a full penetration closeup shot is shown. My jaw dropped. So this is what it looked like….this was sex. A man’s penis in a woman’s vagina. And frankly, it was kind of………weird looking.
This movie got worn out during my hormonal teen years, I’m so glad I had it. I still have it to this day, too. A few years ago I was throwing out old VHS tapes and copying over what I wanted to keep to DVD-Rs. Hotline was one of them…it was nostalgic to me in a way. It’s still as close to a “first time” than I have yet to experience.
The Dateable Dork Says:
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Damn, your mom giving you a porno at age 13? I can’t even imagine what I’d do in that situation! Well, probably the same thing you did, but still. Wow.
Gotta love the cheesiness of those movies… “she’ll climb your pole.” Hahahaha, love it.
The Virgin Says:
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Actually it took me a little bit to figure “that” out. For the first few times I watched it I just stared at the screen in shock.
And screw the cover, I want the soundtrack.