#33: The secret admirer
What in the hell was my 17-year-old counterpart THINKING with this nonsense?!?
We all have things we’re not proud of. I’ve never spoken once about this following story since it happened well over ten years ago…NOT ONCE. Of all the stories I’ve had to tell about my life, this one makes me the most uncomfortable and I’m telling (writing) about it for the first time.
If you didn’t read about Janelle back in the seventh grade, take the time to reacquaint yourselves now. I’ll wait.
…
Back? Good. Through the rest of Junior High and into High School Janelle was never completely out of my mind. I used to brighten up whenever I saw her walking in the halls or whatnot and it was basically a crush from afar.
I was thrilled when I ended up in the same class as her again in my Junior year. It was the same situation as always, I never approached her and simply looked forward to seeing her come in every day. She never said anything to me and likely had forgotten all about that business with the dress for all I know. I realized at one point I would have to do something about it…but I didn’t do the direct approach I should have attempted. After all, I was “romantic.” So what did I do?
I’m gritting my teeth as I type this. I went the “secret admirer” route. There…I said it.
I had basically gotten Janelle’s address through my own practical means and started sending her bouquets of flowers and gifts to her house along with poetry or some nonsense anonymously signed by “A secret admirer.” One of those gifts was a necklace that I had paid $80 for, sending it to her as a birthday present. The plan was that I would eventually reveal myself after I built up some suspense.
OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW how idiotic and creepy this whole thing looked as I look back on it now. Hell, I wonder what her parents thought of the whole thing, worried and frightened that their daughter had her very own stalker. But for some reason, I didn’t know any better then.
I did eventually get a warning sign. One day I saw Janelle walking down the hall with a million dollar smile on her face. I glanced down and noticed she was holding someone’s hand. My eyes traced the other arm back upward and noticed that it was a guy. More specifically, her borefriend.
Saying like it felt like being punched in the gut was the understatement of the century. It made me beyond miserable to see that sight. However, THAT should have tipped me off to quit while I was still anonymous and could save face, moving on to some other girl to woo.
But no, like an idiot I continued my charade. I was more “romantic” than this other guy and I was going to prove it to her.
Ray Says:
May 1st, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Wow man…this eventually turns out very badly, doesn’t it?
The Virgin Says:
May 1st, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Ray: Ohhhhhh, yeah