#40: The only way I knew
Some people walk together - I walk alone.
I always kept hope that Jaime and Bob would fizzle out but they never did…not by graduation time anyway. At the graduation ceremony, she didn’t even come over to me to wish me well like my other classmates were. As the ceremony concluded I took one last look at her standing in the corner with her family, turned slowly towards the door and sadly left the auditorium the only way I knew…alone. I never saw her again.
After writing this, did I look for Jaime on the net like the other girls? Yes and it turned up nothing, but I already had my answer about that before I even did the search. Let’s fast forward for a brief moment to about five years after college.
At this time I had completely woken up from my former persona, looked like a new person after the weight loss and now was acting more like a MAN. One day, a former classmate contacted me about an unofficial class reunion. I admit I was curious…if I went, would “she” show up? If so, what would she think of me now?
I never got the chance to find out…Jaime didn’t show. According to one girl who mentioned her, she oddly disappeared off the face of the earth without a trace. For what it’s worth, the few girls that were there in attendance were very impressed with what they saw now versus what they remembered back in school.
Sometimes I wish I could take the 2008 version of myself and go back in time and completely replace my 1999 counterpart. No doubt that I would be more than a match for Bob now. I understand now that just because a guy is in her life doesn’t mean she’ll stay with him if something better comes along. I’ve seen that proven to my own eyes over the years.
The significant thing about the situation with Jaime is that it was the last time I would allow myself to be weak and feel any significant attachments or obsession over a female. Much less one I wasn’t even fucking DATING, as had always ridiculously been one of my greatest “romantic nice guy” flaws back then.