V-Carded! An Twenty-something adult male's struggle with virginity and sexual frustration

Let’s log in and see if we have any winners amongst losers today!

Time again for another round of emails to evaluate from our decoy duck online dating profile! To all the guys out there, ever wonder why you email and email prospective matches and never hear back? Maybe it’s not necessarily because it’s you, but because she already has to deal with responses like the ones we’re highlighting here. So read and learn, we have only a few more rounds left of these articles.

But today, I’m not going alone at it. I am joined by The Beautiful Kind to help evaluate these letters. Let’s dive in!

A 25 year old man writes…

“Hey there, Im XXX. Yeah I like your profile. It is important to have as much fun as we can while we are young, and hitting up the clubs together is fun, but meeting people at those places just is not even worth the time anymore. I actually try to be a nice guy and a gentlemen, and that generally gets me no where, especially in those type of places so I just dont bother lol. So I am actually Mr. Romance and it is great when it is actually appreciated. I am looking for someone who is interested in having a great time together and becoming close and going from there. Well that is me in a brief summary.”

The Virgin: This is one of those guys desperately trying to convince her that he’s sooooo romantic and a gentleman. Aside from that, it’s not a horrible letter but there’s nothing special about it either. By the way, “it’s important to have as much fun as we can while we are young?” If he thinks that you can’t have fun when you’re older, then what incentive is there to stay with him?

The Beautiful Kind: Avoid men with little boy names. He cleverly plays the “lol” dance with her, showing her that he can be light hearted too. He is suffering from Nice Guy Syndrome which can also suggest that he is DULL.

A 27 year old man writes…

“Well if you are looking for a southern gentleman then look no farther. So tell me about yourself. What do you do for a living? Where did you go to school? I am sorry my name is XXX. I need to get beter at that! lol. Well hope to hear from you.”

The Virgin: I can’t show the photo but he does indeed give off the look of a southern gentleman. Good picture of him, nice pleasant smile that I wish I had. But he needs to work on the letter. Aside from severe spelling and punctuation problems, he instantly goes into the “job interview” with the questions about her work and job.

The Beautiful Kind: I dunno, I think a Southern gentleman would do a better job of introducing himself. And it’s good manners to answer the same questions you ask the other person. He should have told something more about himself. And is he really willing to meet 99 yr old women? That’s pretty cool. And it is a nice photo, women WANT to see men smile. So many dude profile pics look like mug shots.

A 25 year old man writes…

“How are you?”

The Virgin: Fine.

The Beautiful Kind: Delete.

A 26 year old man writes…

“you seem cool. you caught my eye. it would be cool if we could talk sometime. im interested. I dont know what else to say. just let me know if you would be interested. ttyl. have a good day”

Three weeks later he writes again…

“you seem cool. id love to talk sometime I Love the dog. have a great day”

Then on the SAME DAY as that response, yet another letter…

“so Id like to learn more about you.”

The Virgin: I have to wonder if he’s either trying way too hard, or he has such a short-term memory that he doesn’t realize he’s emailed the same girl three times in a row over a span of three weeks…..twice in the same day!

The Beautiful Kind: Repetitive caveman grunting, yesss! Notice how he offers zero information about himself, he’s at a loss for words. So vapid, so lackluster, I’ve read more exciting used car sales ads.

Posted July 13th, 2008 in From a Female's Eyes

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