V-Carded! Hall of Shame: Mr. Dickson (American Idol)
He who holds the key will unlock her heart? Certainly won’t unlock her legs, that’s for damned sure.
It is that time once again those words that every man in American dreads…well besides hearing “Let’s just be friends.” It’s time for the V-Carded Hall of Shame! Our next recipient of this award goes to “Mr. Dickson,” seen on the American Idol auditions a few months ago.
I briefly mentioned this kid in a previous post, Bruce Dickson was a 19-year-old auditioning for American Idol. During his audition, he admitted to still being a virgin and never kissed a girl. The judges’ responses were classic. Randy Jackson: “On purpose?” Simon Cowell: “…. Why?” Paula said much of nothing, but it was apparent that she had no plans for this kid.
When Bruce was thirteen, his father gave him a “key” necklace that fits into a partner “heart” necklace that his father constantly wears across his neck. The father explained that there was “one” girl out there just for him, and on his wedding day, his father will give his bride the heart necklace, so Brucie-wuusie will have “the key to her heart.” Clever…I see what he did there. You can see the whole painful segment for yourself. It’s so extreme that Bruche doesn’t even plan on KISSING HER until the big wedding day.
The judges basically sent him on his way. First of all, what worth is it to even BRING THAT UP in a SINGING competition? I heard some advice once about dating where if the words you speak won’t help your cause, then simply keep your mouth shut. There’s just nothing sexy about a virgin with his balls under lock and key by his father.
In a followup article, Bruce Dickson blasts back at the American Idol judges, he says the following like “I respect women and don’t think of them as a sexual object, and I’m the freak?” and “A real man would rather wait than just do whatever with whoever.”
I’ve said this before, personally I think it’s far more insulting to women to NOT consider them as a person with sexual desires of their own, THAT is treating them as the true object. This is the same kind of nonsense that comes from the same camp that believe sex has nothing to do with a “true” loving relationship and marriage. People who still think that need to read the book My Secret Garden, written over 35 years ago. They’re going to be shocked when they discover that a great portion of that content comes from bored housewives.
Bruce’s last comment about “waiting” is ironic indeed…he’s going to be doing PLENTY of that if he doesn’t even have the GUTS to kiss her. I said the exact same thing in a previous post. It makes complete sense to even a virgin like me - if you don’t kiss her early on, she’s simply going to interpret that as you’re not interested (or gay) and then consider you a girlfriend - NOT boyfriend.
So ugh….without further ado, I present Mr. Dickson with the Buffalo Bill award. Tuck it between your legs, would-ja?
Oh….hold, I need to clarify. My bad; sit down Bruce. I said Mr. Dickson….the father. Come on down and claim your prize.
Why not Bruce himself? Because I don’t believe it’s his fault that he’s that way; it obviously comes from the father. Who was it that put that locket and story nonsense into this head at age 13? And that “saving the first kiss for marriage” garbage…one guess where that came from too…
Bruce seems like a good kid with a decent singing voice that ladies will love. Simon and crew did for Bruce what his father couldn’t do; simply being on the show in some fashion - even the auditions - gave him social proof with the starry-eyed girls who still believe in fantasy of “true love waits” and subconsciously wants to sleep with him anyway and be his (and maybe her) “first.”
Of course that fantasy will turn to boredom when Bruce turns them off with the stereotypical nice guy act and never gives her that wonderful “first kiss” that they’ve come to expect after meeting someone new or exciting. I don’t care who says otherwise - they’re wrong or lying to themselves - the first kiss is IMPORTANT when dating. Even the movie Hitch made reference to this: the first kiss is something HARDWIRED into a woman’s head that tells them everything they need to know about how it’s going to go with that person.
Bruce is only 19 years old and it is NOT too late for him to start getting comfortable with women and learning what pleases them, turns them on and makes them happy. But I don’t think that’s going to happen because his father is going to be working greatly against his cause.
In a radio interview, Bruce said his parents set him that way because they didn’t want him to put up with the heartaches of breakup and dating. Unfortunately, Mr. Dickson is setting his son up PRECISELY for that if his son can’t get experience with women. Breakups and playing the field is a part of dating, meeting different people, learning about the opposite sex and eventually finding one worthy person above all others.
Otherwise? Then you become me. I was like Bruce…and in more ways than you might think. True story: I also carried a necklace after my teen years to award to my “future love.” Do you know where that necklace continued to sit and sit? IN MY CLOSET…COLLECTING DUST. Until I wised the hell up with that nonsense.
So Mr. Dickson, please remove the first four letters from your last name because you clearly don’t have need of one of those. Then remember the sexual welfare of the person who represents those last three letters. Because unless Bruce learns otherwise, he might as well marry his father years from now because he’ll the only person who’s still going to be wearing the other half of that necklace.
But hey…at least they’ll have lots of female friends to attend the wedding.
The Dateable Dork Says:
April 5th, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Hahaha, I feel bad for that kid. What a load of garbage his father is feeding him!
curiousgirl Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
i recall in certain BDSM circles that the whole key/lock thing is related to D/s…i wonder if Mr. D has a freakin clue…
cg