V-Carded! An Twenty-something adult male's struggle with virginity and sexual frustration

You’re way too wussied, boy…that’s why it’ll never work, you’ve got us suicidal, suicidal, when this song comes on the radio…

It was a while ago when my friend and I were riding around in the car and he had his radio turned to FM, which I don’t listen to much. A song started to come on that sounded reggae and I thought I caught lines like “you’re too beautiful, girl,” “I’m going to commit suicide,” and other loathsome stuff. I turned my head. “What the hell is this crap?” I asked my friend. He shook his head. “I dunno. I hear it all the time though.”

I would sometimes try and bring the song up to people because I had no idea who sang it. “Sounds like a guy with his balls cut off,” I described. I just got confused looks and shrugs. FINALLY I was listening to a Player Supreme podcast and he opened his episode with this very song (to ridicule it). “THAT’S IT! THAT’S THE SONG!” I yelled in my car. And then I had a name: Sean Kingston.

Sean Kingston is an 18-year old rapper/reggae singer who put out last year’s hit “Beautiful Girls,” which is indeed the song I heard above. I mean, just take a listen for yourself…

You’re way too beautiful girl, that’s why it’ll never work
You’ll have me suicidal, suicidal, when you say it’s over

Um…oy. Would a TRUE confident and challenging man be telling himself and not approaching because “she’s too beautiful for him?” Saying he’d kill himself over someone that won’t give him the time of day? This is exactly the “putting the pussy on a pedestal” situation that doesn’t create attraction or respect in a woman. (I am reminded of a Hot Alpha Female article.) What is this song telling all the young boys out there, to not be men and be strong and to keep chasing someone who won’t chase you?

In fact, I know someone like this for real with the opposite sex. The Friend’s brother’s first wife was a head case and threatened to kill herself with pills (which she actually tried once) whenever he wouldn’t do what she wanted or he left her (several times). As such, they are long divorced now. If he didn’t put up with her maniacal behavior, why would a girl put up with Sean Kingston’s?

Now we’re fussin’, and now we’re fightin’
Please tell me why, I’m feelin’ slightin’
And I don’t know, how to make it better (make it better)

How to make it better? Move on to a new girl, dope. Crying and begging isn’t going to bring her back…or if it does she will absolutely play you the fool again while she fucks a real man. Speaking of which…

You’re datin’ other guys, you’re tellin’ me lies
Oh I can’t believe what I’m seein’ with my eyes
I’m losin’ my mind

Look how you’re acting above and you’ll understand why she ran away. Anyway, we’ll come back to Beautiful Girls in a moment. Let’s go on to another one of his songs, Me Love.

Now im sittin’ in a chair wit no one here, an I’m feelin’ all alone
Thinkin to myself like, damn why
My baby up and gone, it’s like I’m missin’ her and I know she’s missin’ me

I’m starting to sense a THEME on this album here. Anyway, she’s not missin’ you, dude. If she did have ANY thought that she would miss you, she wouldn’t have LEFT. Oh, she’s probably staying things like “But I still care about you,” etc to let you down gently. But while you’re singing and crying your eyes out, she’s crying HER eyes out…as another guy fucks her to her third orgasm. Here’s a third song called Take You There.

We can take a trip to the hood, it’s no problem girl it’s my city
I could take you there, little kid wit guns only 15
Roamin’ the streets up to no good, when gun shots just watch us, run quickly, I could show you where

As long you’re wit me, baby you’ll be alright
I’m known in the ghetto, girl just stay by my side

Yeah, um, nothing would make a sweet girl’s panties any wetter than taking her to the hood on a date. If he’s to the point that he’s suicidal over a woman who went off to fuck someone else, he isn’t going to last five seconds in the hood, let alone protect her girl. I’d feel safer with Tony Cox at my side in the hood than Sean Kingston. He didn’t take any shit from Bernie Mac in Bad Santa.

And then there is Got No Shorty. Now this confused me for a second, when he was talking about “shorty” I thought he was referring to his dick or something. Had to look this one up, apparently shorty is a term for an attractive girl / girlfriend.

She don’t want to see me, so she calls me up when she wants to get busy
I am the man, I am the business, I’m tellin’ you all with God as my witness

I’m really all yours but I’m telling (???), tell ya I’m a pimp I got no sexy girls
Got so plenty don’t know who to choose

I ain’t got no shorty

The lyrics are confusing and flip-flop, but judging by the title and his other songs I’ll assume there are no women in his life. If you don’t have ANY girls, I would call you anything in the world but a PIMP and that’s a pretty shitty business plan to go on if you ask me. It’s like running a cab station without any taxis.

There are other songs on his album to pick apart, but I can’t take any more of this. See folks, stuff like this above is exactly WHY I do the Hall of Shame. This is exactly the kind of stuff that sends the wrong message to guys out there. Even worse, Sean Kingston was 17 when he put out this song and no doubt he’s someone that teens look up to.

Also, there are those “distraction” girls out there (girls simply looking for ego boosts from men), they eat songs like this up and fuels their already inflated heads. Girls like the photo on the right, for example. Don’t believe me? It’s already happened, take a listen to the “female response” to Beautiful Girls….

EXCUSE you? A little full of ourselves, aren’t we? But forget that…it gets worse…we’re now teaching the youth that a man should act like a girl. Listen to what’s on a Kid Bopz album.

Oh, won’t someone please think of the children? Which is something that Sean Kingston doesn’t have to worry about anymore, having come-of-age and turned 18 recently. Has anyone thrown him a Quinceanera yet? Oh well…even if he’s a few years too old for that by now (or even the same race), it don’t matter who you are or how old you are…Buffalo Bill doesn’t discriminate…unless you’re not at least a size 14. Something that Sean doesn’t have to worry about. Accept this award and tuck it between your legs, wouldja?

But despite the above, Sean Kingston’s life and career will continue to blossom and go on. In fact, I have a sneak preview of his next song available exclusively here on my site…

Posted May 26th, 2008 in Hall of Shame

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