V-Carded
My biggest secret and shame, my realization as an anomaly of the human race.
I am about to make the bravest statement of my life: I am a twenty-something male who’s still v-carded.
That’s right, I’ve never taken my clothes off with a female. I have never taken her breath away with my kiss. I have never felt the sensation of being inside her. No romps in the car, no Sunday morning sex, no erotic stories from a weekend getaway. All the stuff that many of you experience on a daily basis and take for granted.
Instead, I get my only fulfillment and sense of accomplishment in life from my job…if I didn’t have that, I would have no practical purpose in life. When I’m home and the mood strikes me, my only relief is a bottle of lubricant and my imagination and/or erotic videos, a tiring relationship I would like to take a LONG break from. The only thing waking me up in the morning is my ever annoying alarm clock. I walk by beautiful women kissing and petting a plain looking man and wonder what he has that I don’t.
My twenties are supposed to be my sexual peak and time is nearly up. This is my biggest secret and my biggest shame.
The primary goal of the human race is to procreate in any way possible to ensure the survival of our genes via offspring and ensure the survival of the species. It’s why our ancestors did the deed and it’s that ancestral programming that has been passed down to us. If an adult cannot find and attract another person, they are by all definitions “sterile.” They cannot continue the bloodline and their genes will be unapologetically weeded out.
I am the anomaly to the human race. And I am seriously failing my bloodline.
The Beautiful Kind Says:
March 13th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Congratulations on launching this blog! I think you will find a lot of support and insight on your public journey.
“This is my biggest secret and my biggest shame.”
I hope that by confessing it, owning it, and turning it into something positive, you are already feeling some relief.
I look forward to following your story!
Alex Foster Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 11:12 am
Wow, man. I know you’re horny and such but let’s get some perspective, here. Michael Douglas is still fathering kids well into his 80s (or however old he is) so your bloodline is just fine. You’ve not had sex in the first twelve to fifteen years you could have done, but that still leaves something like fifty years to get it on.
Also, if you’re looking at it like a ‘crisis’ then women are going to sense that. We’re like dogs in that way. And ‘desperate’ does not inspire confidence.
There are, however, some women who’d be totally in to deflowering a man–perhaps one of those kind souls will find you through your blog and that experience will give you enough confidence to remove any miasma of insecurity you may be projecting.
Those plain men with hot women don’t know or care that they’re plain.
Reading over this is sounds a bit harsh, but here I am, Mistress Tough-Love. I’m rooting for you, man.
Tara Says:
April 6th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
It will happen. Statistics are on your side.
Until, don’t feel shame about it. Having sex or not having sex should have little to do with something as harmful and self-destructive as shame.
Your sexual peak will happen when you’ve had the practice and have developed the self-confidence to have a good time with it. Some men start having sex in their teens but don’t truly reach their peak until their 40s. Sure, they may not be able to have sex 4, 6 or 8 times a day - but they know what they’re doing and their partner will attest to the fact that THAT’S a better peak - quality over quantity.
I’ve been with men 13 years older than men and one who was 15 years younger - the older man tends to make a better lover simply because of experience and, frankly, they typically aren’t as selfish.
So don’t beat yourself up to hard. Your peak is still ahead of you.
27-years-old Says:
April 7th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
No worries man. Easy for me to say, right? Except I’m 27, male, and still a v-card member too. lol. But I don’t sweat it. I’m at where I’m at in life. Can’t change the past. Just pick up where we are and move forward. Still plenty of life and time ahead. And you’re not alone.
Granted, there’s fewer and fewer of us, but still a surprising number of men and women (many perfectly attractive and healthy) that for one reason or another, just haven’t “done the deed” yet.
The important thing is not to let this virgin thing become a part of your identity or self image. It’s just…an area in life you don’t happen to have any experience in yet. But that doesn’t mean you won’t.