I’m done
I don’t care if anyone calls me a pussy in the bar, I’m through with that poison.
Just got back from my weekend out at the music event I was talking about, and boy do I regret going. Not that there was wrong with anything with the event itself, that was fine and dandy. Friday night went splendidly…but that was because I didn’t drink. I DID drink on Saturday and overdid it to the point that I completely blacked out and can’t remember anything.
I woke up on the ground at 6AM and aside from some unidentifiable scars on my face, I realized that I had also done something highly embarrassing…so much that I’m not going to mention what. I got up and stumbled around. The first thing I noticed missing was the specialized musicians earplugs that I wear to such events and they weren’t cheap to have made. But I was feeling so sick at that point that I didn’t care…I just wanted to get back to my hotel room, clean myself up and go home.
I started to rummage through my pockets to check to see if I had lost anything else. Digital camera - check. iPhone - check. Money - check. Keys. …. Keys. ….. KEYS? WHERE THE HELL ARE MY KEYS?
As far as I was concerned, everything else on me was expendable. This wasn’t a situation where I could call a friend for help or take a taxi home. For one, I was in a park / campground in the middle of nowhere and had no signal. There were new friends I knew that were there, but the area was so huge that they could be anywhere…not to mention I didn’t want them to see me in this condition. Second, I was about 150 miles from home. No keys, I don’t go home. I really didn’t understand how my keys got lost because I put them in the most secure pocket in my cargo shorts.
I scoured the campgrounds over the next two hours and retraced every single step that I could remember. I even checked the digital camera to see if I could identify any areas I hadn’t remembered being in when I was intoxicated. Some of the party-goers still around watched me with curiosity as I was transfixed on the ground. “Hey dude, did you lose your marbles or somethin’?” they said.
I came full circle back to the spot where I woke up and managed to find one of my earplugs…truly a needle in the haystack. But I couldn’t locate the other as the area was too grassy…I would have traded that found earplug for my keys anyway. After a while I crashed near the second stage, feeling tired and sick…wondering how I was going to check out of the hotel back in town, let alone get home.
Suddenly one of the guys I had talked to earlier that was now loading speakers into the truck approached me. “Are these yours?” In his hand was a sight for sore eyes, they were indeed my keys. “How…how the HELL did you find them?” I asked. He said that he found them sitting on one of the speakers. I was dumbstruck…why in the HELL would I take my keys out on the stage and set them down carelessly like that? But it didn’t matter, the important thing was that I could now go home. I didn’t have to, but I gave the guy twenty bucks as a reward…he fucking earned it and is my guardian angel as far as I was concerned.
I got back into town to my hotel room, showered and soaked my clothes in the sink, checked out, stopped at a Wal-Mart to buy some replacement clothing, hit the road home and here I am, safe and sound.
But I’ll tell you something…this situation was completely beneath me and I’m ashamed of myself. I fucked up…I’m better than that. But it’s important to learn from your mistakes and indeed I have. First, I’m getting something to lock my keys to my belt / pocket whenever I go to future events like this. Second, I’m making a spare key to hide in the car…in a DIRE emergency I will have to just break out the window. Third, I’m going to purchase an earplug replacement…that cost is my punishment. At least I found one of them so I hope the audiologist keeps the molds on record so I can order a replacement.
Forth - and most importantly - I’m done. While alcohol is fun to do at the time, it destroys lives and I don’t need that in my life….it’s absolutely poison for my body. Tonight I will be pouring out a few hundred dollars worth of bottles and putting them in the garbage where they belong. The only drink you’ll find in my hands at a club from now on is water or soda.
I’m not into the punk culture or anything, but aside from that as far as I’m concerned you can officially deem me straight-edge.
The Dateable Dork Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Oh man, sorry to hear that your weekend getaway turned into kind of a nightmare. I’m really sorry, and I hope you’re ok. Alcohol can certainly get us all into a lot of trouble, and I give you a lot of credit for making a move like that. But just keep in mind that you’re not alone - we’ve all done stupid shit while drunk that we certainly aren’t proud of. You’re only human, after all. Hang in there.
Honey Says:
August 18th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Moderation is something that’s not possible? I have done my share of stupid stuff, for sure…now I try to limit what I drink and actually I’ve lost my taste for it quite a bit. And I never drank hard alcohol much, anyway.
It’s something we all struggle with, I think.
The Beautiful Kind Says:
August 18th, 2008 at 1:33 pm
“I realized that I had also done something highly embarrassing…so much that I’m not going to mention what…”
Um, you’re suppposed to admit to the embarrassing stuff so that others will feel better about having done something like it. That’s why I admit to pissing my pants and gagging on carrots. WTF?? hee hee
When we go on our date, you better ‘fess up to what you did, otherwise I won’t put out!
HA!
The Beautiful Kind Says:
August 18th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
PS: You should donate your booze to homeless people. Or me.
HA!
Good to know who will be designated driver on our date…
The Virgin Says:
August 18th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
Honey: Thought I was being moderate, but apparently not…I didn’t feel that drunk during my last memory before the blackout, but I can’t remember a single thing or how I got to the spot where I was at. Better to quit completely, alcohol offers no benefit whatsoever if you really think about it.
TBK: I don’t have to do anything but pay taxes and die…and I’m not so sure about the latter sometimes.
As someone else said, “what happens at a party stays at the party,” so my mouth remains shut. Believe me, there’s already enough embarrassing things above to show people why it’s not smart to drink.
NewWrldYankee Says:
August 20th, 2008 at 1:04 am
Sounds like a nightmare…Did any of your friends tell you what you had done the night before? That’s the worst part for me, having this vague feeling I did something stupid and not knowing what it is. Glad you found your keys, though! That would have been even worse otherwise.