Swingers marriage
If an engaged person ponders this, they might want to rethink those wedding invitations…
My friend is getting married to a twenty year old sometimes later in this year, I believe. Anyway, he was over at my place last night and said something interesting.
“I think a lot more marriages would stay together if you could still do anything with anyone.”
I responded that I didn’t think he was too far off the mark with that one. He started laughing as if I was joking, but I was serious. Based on human psychology, I do often wonder that. Certainly monogamous society has a high divorce rate as it were.
Actually, I’d be really interested to know what the divorce or breakup rate was amongst swingers to see if any of that holds weight.
ChickenMan Says:
March 31st, 2008 at 12:20 am
I think you are confusing things. Monogamous society has a high divorce rate, and a high breaking up rate, but this is not due to any monogamous nature.
First off, in my opinion humans are not naturally monogamous, and never have been. Steady partner relationships was formed for survival reasons, and since this would only work with explicit trust the deal was it was for life. A seemingly monogamous life is just the way humans made this work, it was just part of the greater area of ‘working on the relationship’ even though it has become a symbol for it all, and today synonymous to many with a working relationship. Over the years the nature of our lives have changed, having a relationship is no longer the only way to survive, and as such people have simply grown out of ‘working on the relationship’. Without working on it you get the sort of dysfunctional childish relationships that is so often seen in todays couples, that is prone to breakups and divorces. Monogamy frankly, has very little to do with it.
If society over time did manage to lose the sexual shame, and become okay with sex and polygamy, then I believe you might be right. But at this time, in my experience, open relationships have a larger percentage of breakups than old fashioned couples. It is just too many years of societal imprinting on us, and even people who logically feel this is nothing to worry about can have major psychological reactions to an open relationship. Until then I suggest you think of it the other way around. Any relationship will work if both parts are working to make it work. Monogamous or not. So, pick the girl, or girls, boy, boys, or any combination thereof, based on what you want, not what society condones. As long as all participants know that a relationship means commitment and dedication, and all parts are willing to work for it, then it will work.