Why settle for less?
I don’t play life half-assed.
A friend gave me a shout-out in her blog a while ago about the virgin blogger. One of the people making a comment in that post gave some advice to the effect that if I wanted to get laid, I should set the bar low in the looks department and find a drunk, ugly, fat, etc. chick to bang. That told me everything about them right there…and all I have to say is this. Is life really worth living if you’re willing to settle for less?
The one thing that drives me far more nuts than a nice guy is a person who settles for less in life. I know more than one person who did this. They are now engaged to fat/unattractive girls because the girls they were attracted to seemed out of their reach. I know that different people have their tastes and I’m not trying to bash on fat women. But I’ve known my friends for a long time and I am completely aware of the kind of women they liked…which wasn’t what they ended up with. IF they had dated a bunch of women first and then decided on these girls afterwards, that would be making a really strong statement about their choice. But that’s not what happened and you know they’re going to be eyeballing attractive women in the malls as the years go by and wonder what could have been.
As for myself, I didn’t get to where I am in my career by settling. When I was struggling at the bottom, people would say to me “Times are tough…you need to take what you can get to pay the bills,” and “Maybe you shouldn’t put your expectations so high.” I told them to fuck themselves and still shot high. I went through a lot of waiting and a lot of hard times…but I made it.
My love life is no different to me. It’s like this…I don’t follow any pickup artist system of rating women. You know, like “Oh, she’s a HB6,” or “I banged a 7.5 last night.” In my eyes it’s far simpler…I’m either attracted to her or I’m not. Period. If I’m not attracted, why in the hell would I have anything to do with them? I’d rather remain a virgin than fucking someone that requires me to wear a blindfold. It sounds like a possible recipe for bad sex to me.
That’s not to say I’m delusional and will only sleep with supermodels. To be honest, the girls you’ve heard about - and will hear about - in my life were all flawed in some way and would not likely be showing up in Penthouse anytime soon. But I liked them and was very attracted to them, and that’s all that mattered to me.
Other men out there who are no more or less attractive than me have gotten what they wanted out of their sex life. Why should I settle for any less?
Hot Alpha Female Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 6:38 am
Great post buddy,
Why settle for any less that is one of my philosphies as well.
Its great because it good to have high expectations of yourself, of your life and the people that you choose to date.
With that said, i think that there needs to be a balence.
I mean of course you are not going to settle for something any less than you deserve at the same time .. some people can caught up and almost have unrealistic expectations.
I mean i usually find that people that have been single for a little bit (me included) say that they are really picky when it comes to guys or girls.
But usually its the fact that there are plently of eligiable people out there that would be great for you .. its just that there is something else holding you back
and the high expectations is just a facade.
Not saying that it applies in your case at all …… but yeh your post just made me think about it =)
Hot Alpha Female
http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com
curiousgirl Says:
April 15th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
the ironic thing that popped into my head is this…for those “unattractive” girls you mentioned…perhaps they were the ones who felt they should have higher expectations…lol…i admire your honesty in admitting the importance of physical attraction because today so many people seem to be shying away from admitting that…as if there is a certain stigma associated with desiring a physically attractive person..
for all the people who say “oh, looks do not matter…i want someone smart, funny, blah blah”…there are probably only a minute handful that may be true for…the rest like singing that song because it sounds good…
truth be told…i honestly do value the intelligence/personality factor much much much more than physical attractiveness…i want both a physical and a mind fuck…
cg
valentine Says:
April 17th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
My current boyfriend, who’s the love of my life so far, is a funny looking kid. Tall, gangly, and greasy don’t even begin to describe him. When I first met him, I thought he was extremely weird looking.
I didn’t settle for him at all though, I FELL for him. I actually don’t think looks mattered at all.
In the long run, you’re going out with the person, not just their body. Having standards can be so much more than a purely physical thing. So I agree with having high standards in that aspect.