V-Carded! An Twenty-something adult male's struggle with virginity and sexual frustration

Here goes…does The Beautiful Kind get my cherry, or do I choose to wait for a different situation?

So we have both a list of pros and cons for going through with TBK’s offer. Yes, I realize that most men wouldn’t bother even analyzing this and just “do it,” and I even said this to TBK a week ago. But don’t forget that many men have paid the price for doing that. Hell, the Friend is juggling a $2000 a month mortgage and a nasty divorce for this reason. But make no mistake, I’m not most men. As I’ve been a virgin and have stood on the sidelines observing others making the mistakes, I see things differently in a way that most of you who found intimacy early on will never know.

Besides, by that same exact logic should I have went straight to a prostitute? Ah, changes the tone of the matter quickly, doesn’t it? Anyway my poppets, the moral of the story is “fools rush in.”  For every choice there is consequence.

But let’s move on to the true topic at hand. I hate to say it, but once you leave high school “virgin” becomes a dirty word. Oh, some women saaaay things like that “it doesn’t matter” and “I’d be flattered,” but as I believe, “actions, not words.” Take this post I came across once…

“I think women are entitled to an experienced partner without having to teach them everything. I swore off virgins a long long time ago for this very reason.”

Or just as bad, this YouTube video entitled “Never never never sex a virgin.” (Although I can’t imagine anyone outside of a Hot Topic sexing that girl.) Yep, there is a big virgin backlash out there. Like getting turned down by employer after employer telling you they’re looking for someone “more experienced,” it begs the question, “How am I supposed to get experience if no one will give me a chance?”

So at long last this is “my chance,” and that’s reason enough to go through with this. I am quite fortunate to have found a partner that doesn’t care I’m a virgin and I can feel more comfortable with.

As I stated in my cons, this is indeed an unusual situation and if you really think about it, TBK’s offer is literally a deus ex machina. Is this an easy way out like with an escort? No, honestly I think there is a BIG difference with this situation. Repeating a quote from my writings on hiring an escort…

“You are still a despicable, unwanted human being after doing any of these things. You have to convince a decent human being to have sex with you, before the virginity albatross is taken from your shoulders.”

Do you see the difference here? An escort is attracted to a wallet. TBK is attracted to ME. While TBK might boast that she’s a “slut,” I think even she’s discriminatory about whom she chooses to be with and I doubt she would have approached me if I was a slob and a mess. To be honest, it’s flattering to be looked at as a lover for once and not a coworker, friend, fix-it guy or whatnot that most women already identify me as.

I *am* a novelty, but isn’t it that way with sex in general? The Friend was curious about black women for a spell, and he’s always had a thing for redheads. Some women are size queens. Lots of white guys love Asian women. So sex is full of curiosities and novelties and it’s silly to linger on meaningless issues. Sure, it’s also blog-worthy material, but aren’t I not doing the same thing?

Finally, can I handle something like this? Lots of people will point fingers and claim that a person moving from sex partner to sex partner has issues. To them I say that someone who gets completely attached / obsessed with the first thing that comes along has the bigger issues. People take the time to shop around and explore their options with many things, why is choosing a partner any different? Too many guys are wimps and that is why a fantasy of a life filled with beautiful women will always be just that to them…a fantasy. They can’t handle it. It takes a very strong willed and open-minded person to be able to control their emotions and handle a casual dating lifestyle maturely.

Now I ask you, could a guy who sent love letters to someone he barely knew as well as needlessly pine over an engaged woman - handle a casual kind of situation? Fat chance.

But that was then, and this is now. The Virgin of 2008 is NOT the same person as The Virgin of 1998. That guy completely died long ago. I believe that TBK trusts that I can see the situation for what it is…and what it’s not…and completely handle it maturely. I think after a long solitude I have proven that I can control myself. I’m ready.

So my answer is “yes.” It’s time to get this over with…this is the best possible situation and the best possible partner for my first time. Why not…what do I have to lose anyway, my virginity? If I don’t do this, this will be the biggest regret that I’ve had in my life since I saw The Happening.

So here it is folks…the beginning of the end. It might be tomorrow, it might a week, a month or even a few months, but it’s inevitable, The Virgin is getting laid. Until that time….I’ll be panicking and sweating like an 18-year-old boy. Like, no pressure or anything.

Posted August 7th, 2008 in Sex

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