V-Carded! An Twenty-something adult male's struggle with virginity and sexual frustration

Toilet Whores has few toilets, but that doesn’t stop us from getting busy on the toilet.

Late Evening

As we pulled into my driveway, there were two boys slowly walking in front that were a little slow when it came to the concept of moving out of the way when a car is coming head on. (TBK: “Which one would you do? … Just kidding!”) The adult store visit seemed to be a fun aphrodisiac to TBK as she was getting noticeably more playful in her tone, which put me at ease that maybe this date was actually going well.

We got inside and TBK was immediately fascinated with my place, apparently passing the female comfort stamp of approval (whew). Despite claiming that I was going to dispose of my liquor a few weeks ago, I never got around to it and decided to keep it around for guests. So I poured TBK a drink and we decided to get set up in the main bathroom upstairs.

The Bathroom

I ran around my place and fetched my Macbook Pro along with a tray table from the basement. (The picture on the right is an actual photo I took the next morning.) Once the movie was ready to go, TBK killed the lights and we started the movie.  With the lid cover down I sat down on the toilet and was trying to think of a way to coax her over onto my lap but she was leaning against the sink staring intently at the movie. The first scene started…but the setting wasn’t the bathroom. Instead, a Hungarian guy was leading a girl into his bedroom.

“What is it with you Hungarians? I don’t want to see your house! I need directions! Directions!”

(thick accent) “But I want to show you my bed.”

“But I don’t need to go to sleep!”

(vampiric like) “I WANT to sex you!”

“SEX? Oh…why didn’t you say so!”

The horrible music gets cued and TBK is laughing her ass off. “Where’s the toilet? There’s no toilet to be found! This is supposed to be ‘Toilet Whores!’” I chuckled and continued to watch the video, slightly perplexed and not quite sure what I should be doing. Fortunately TBK took the initiative; she turned towards me and asked “So…would you like to take my shirt off?”

Didn’t need to ask me twice. My excitement built as I slowly started unbuttoning her shirt. It draped over her breasts, then came off to reveal a cute black bra. We embraced and I moved her hair away from her neck to explore her neckline while she stroked my back and explored me as well. This was no stripper, lap dance or fake fantasy…this was the REAL thing this time!

I looked down into her eyes and then to her lips. In one of my previous posts (which I’ve taken down since due to identity compromise), I debated whether the ever-so-light tongue frenching of two strippers at a strip club counted as an official kiss. To be honest, the situation always had an artificial feel to it.

It didn’t matter anymore…it was time to make the kiss count once and for all as I went in on TBK’s lips. It was a brand new sensation and feeling as I gently kissed and explored her lips, but what really surprised me was how natural it felt to be kissing her.

As we came up for air, I bashfully said “You know…that was my first kiss.” So my readers, think about your first kiss. Was it on the playground in fifth grade with little Bobby or Suzy? Was it during your first real date in Junior High? Well, The Virgin’s first kiss was in a bathroom with a sexual goddess watching Toilet Whores. You need to learn by now that AS ALWAYS, MY story is much better.

I moved behind her and turned her forward towards the movie as we continued to explore each others bodies. It was time for me to be bold and be a man…without permission I went to unhook her bra. I was rusty and fumbled a bit for a few seconds trying to feel for the hook, but with one hand I twisted the hooks and the straps came falling down. Hey-hey, way to go Virgin! This act almost erases the creepy memories of how I learned how to unhook bras one-handed in the first place….almost.

I ran my hand down her shoulders and slowly removed each strap from her arm, her bra finally dangling off which I set on the top of the septic lid of the toilet. Her breasts were very cute and perky. Remembering her less-than-subtle hint about her breasts I explored them with my hands, not only working on the nipple but caressing the top and undersides of them. I was very gentle with her.

I was having my fun exploring the topless TBK, but it was time for TBK to have some fun too. I turned her back around facing me, started unbuttoning my shirt (with TBK’s excited assistance), then she lit up like a Christmas tree when it dropped away and my chest was revealed. “You’re hairy!” she exclaimed. (If you don’t read her blog, TBK is heavily turned on by hairy men.) I admit that I was worried about many things with my body before the date (blemishes, still kind of flabby, penis, etc), but the hair was never a concern. Actually I was a little surprised that she never noticed as it always peeks through my buttoned shirts and v-neck shirts. “And you never told me…” she cooed. I think the surprise legitimately turned her on and perhaps for the first time in my life I felt sexy…like a true seduction artist.

Oh that’s right…there was still a porno running in the bathroom. TBK sat on my lap as we watched the new scene…now with a toilet! We laughed our asses off as the girl (who looked coked out of her mind) sat on the toilet and squirted the contents of an unidentified bottle all over the guy and his penis. The guy in the video applied a douche contraption to it and you can imagine all the places they shoved that in.

“You like the taste of my pussy and my piss on it, don’t you?”

“Yeah…it tastes good you little slut.”

The incredibly bad dialog was amusing enough, but during the middle of the scene the oddest sound clip started playing in the background. I can’t describe it properly, listen for yourself…

TBK and I flashed each other a strange, inquisitive look. The fuck? “Is that some hidden message, Russian propaganda kind of thing? If you translate it will it say “Drink your ovaltine?” I joked. Sheesh, doesn’t porno movies even get run through a screening or quality assurance first? (In case anyone was wondering, Toilet Whores was made in 2005…I checked the box.)

The movie sucked and we were more interested in each other anyway; it was time to take things up a notch. As I mentioned in the previous post, when I found out that sex was off the plate I had ran out at the last minute to buy something to share with TBK later (other than the surprise I previously bought, now irrelevant…but only for now). However, the bathroom would have been impossible to do this in. I suggested to TBK that we move things to my bedroom and she agreed, leaving the movie and laptop behind in the bathroom. Sorry Toilet Whores, it was fun and no one can accuse you of NOT exploring new fetishes…but I was about to have a lot more fun exploring a goddess fetish.

The third and final installment is on Friday.

Posted September 3rd, 2008 in Sex

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