The Beautiful Kind and The Virgin
How does a virgin know a nympho sex goddess anyway?
In case you didn’t read or follow the link in the final paragraph of my Crazy, Crazy Tuesday entry, I’ll sum the entire thing up. Sex blogger The Beautiful Kind - who has assisted with my FFE columns on this site before - has printed her list of visitors/commentors to her site whom she’d like to fuck for her new column. Appearing on that list is none other than yours truly, essentially offering to take me and break me in at last.
In case you are thinking it’s just wishful thinking - or it’s just as skeptical of an offer as other similar stunts with no evidence to back up it’s validity, YES - this is serious. So how the hell does a virgin know a “nympho sex goddess?”
Without compromising too much information, TBK and I are friends / professional acquaintances, nothing more and nothing less. As such, she knows me by my true identity as well as the only one who knows my little secret, something I’ve kept from my closer guy friends for good reason.
Remember how the guys reacted in The 40-Year-Old Virgin when they discovered that Andy (Steve Carell) was a virgin? Yeah, you know, the whole melodramatic “WHAAAT? We GOTTA get you LAID, bro!” reaction. Thanks…but no thanks. There is one thing I never wanted to be treated as - and that was a charity case. I wanted to be able to attract and bed a woman on my own and do it on my own terms.
Late last year while I was floundering, I had bombed in a bar and feeling particularly low and unwanted, and this wasn’t a good combination with my other problems at the time. TBK asked me for a favor right around then, and as I dealt with it it occurred to me that perhaps she was the best person that could offer me some advice on my situation. If she had not popped up at that time I probably never would have thought of her.
It was so difficult to say something because I was about to completely expose myself and wasn’t sure what she’d think, but I needed someone with an open-minded attitude about sex to listen…not someone who’d feed me that “you haven’t met the right girl” or “save it for someone you love” fluffy bunny garbage. (If you do think this way, you need to leave my blog right away and go watch some Ned Flanders cartoons instead.)
Not all of her suggestions I was hot about (prostitute), have tried already (online dating) or I had any luck meeting women (cooking class), but all that mattered is that I had finally gotten it off my chest and it made me feel better. I still didn’t go anywhere at that period of time, but things started to look up when I got my life back on track as well as the creation of this blog to share my troubles and thoughts on a bigger soapbox. My writing depicts the real me more than my words ever can.
So here we come to the present. Never in the time I’ve known TBK did I honestly imagine that my opportunity to be deflowered would come from her….I figured I’d eventually meet some girl in the club or whatnot, if at all. It’s a big decision for certain. The choice seems obvious, this is a real chance at education for the virgin and the teacher is wagging her finger and enticing me. But I learned a long time ago to listen to my upper head more than the lower one, and there are potential reasons why not to go through with this as well.
I have brainstormed and come up with my own list of reasons “for” and “against” this situation and I will be posting those this week. You are welcome to try and talk me one way or another. After the next few posts you will know my decision.
The Dateable Dork Says:
August 4th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
LOL!!! Well, I am not about to offer any advice one way or the other, but I will say this: if you finally get laid, I want ALL the details! : )
NewWrldYankee Says:
August 5th, 2008 at 8:18 am
What a great idea that you are actually thinking about it! Argument sounds pretty compelling…hmmm…this might just be your golden ticket to the sex factory
The Beautiful Kind Says:
August 6th, 2008 at 4:43 pm
Ya know, I’m so excited about fucking a virgin that I went on okcupid and looked for another virgin. I think I want to make it a hobby!
I found a super shy 23 yr old who looks like Harry Potter. I skimmed his profile and surmised he was a virgin, dropped him a line asking if he was, and he wrote me back saying, “Yes, is it THAT obvious?” heh heh. Then he told me he had never even been on a date before!
So I asked him if he wanted to give me his virginity. He freaked. He said he’d have to think about it. That was a few days ago. I hope he’s not in a mental hospital…